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Thursday, February 7th, 2008
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9:51 am
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I am so tired, but I went for the most amazing run today. My passion for running (and one hopes, my old body) is returning. Baby.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
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10:55 am
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All I want are kids. Today I had the best time cuddling with Jacob. Lucky for em there might be a few male possibilities heading my way. We'll see.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
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5:47 am - I'm back! Dum dum dum!
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I got back from my mission three days ago. There, I was sometimes consistent with keeping a paper journal (particularly in the MTC, where I had so much rage and no healthy way to express it ... no one to turn to except that sweet little blue notebook) and sometimes terribly forgetful about it, I know myself, and I know that this journal is my most likely chance of success when it comes to following the counsel of the prophet.
So anyway, I'm home. It's a weird feeling. I was ready, of course, I was exhausted and burnt out and emotionally spent by the time December 19th rolled around .. but at the same time, I fell apart when the plane took off. Now, I feel sort of empty. I feel weird worrying about things I haven't earnestly worried about in a ear and a half. Money? Work? Boys? WHAT?
It doesn't help that my jet lag doesn't allow me to sleep past 4 in the morning, and that I seem to have contracted some sort of virus. It's so strange to me that the world kept moving without while I was gone. How egocentric! But still, everything has changed, and I'm jumping back into it with both feet.
I don't know what I want right now. I think I want to go back to school, but at the time time I'm dreading it. I want to move on with my life, buy things, go on trips, go to parties ... but I feel weird doing it. I want to find a boy, but that's a lot more complicated than I want to get into right now.
I want to have some sort of concrete goal to work towards like I did while I was a missionary. Something Sister Loveland said to me the other day stuck with me: somethings are evil, some things are good, some things are important, and some things are absolutely essential.
More on that later. I can't believe I'm awake.
current mood:  awake
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
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11:21 am - How hilariously sad, yet awesome for me.
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Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2005 02:07:19 -0800 (PST)
From: "Netflix" <info@netflix.com>
To: fussbudgetella@yahoo.com
Subject: Notice of Class Action Settlement. Please Read.
You are receiving this notice because you were a paid Netflix member before January 15, 2005. Under a proposed class action settlement, you may be eligible to receive a free benefit from Netflix.
A class action lawsuit entitled Chavez v. Netflix, Inc. was filed in San Francisco Superior Court (case number CGC-04-434884) on September 23, 2004. The lawsuit alleges that Netflix failed to provide "unlimited" DVD rentals and "one day delivery" as promised in its marketing materials. Netflix has denied any wrongdoing or liability. The parties have reached a settlement that they believe is in the best interests of the company and its subscribers.
Netflix will provide eligible subscribers with the benefit described below, if the settlement is approved by the Court.
* Current Netflix Members: If you enrolled in a paid membership before January 15, 2005 and were a member on October 19, 2005, you are eligible to receive a free one-month upgrade in service level. For example, if you are on the 3 DVDs at-a-time program, you will be upgraded to the 4 DVDs at-a-time program for one month. There will be no price increase during the upgraded month. (If you cancel your membership after October 19, 2005 and before you receive the upgrade, you will have to rejoin to get the upgrade.)
* Former Netflix Members: If you enrolled in a paid membership before January 15, 2005 but were not a member on October 19, 2005, you are eligible to receive a free one-month Netflix membership on your choice of the 1, 2 or 3 DVDs at-a-time unlimited program. (If you rejoin after October 19, 2005 but before you receive the free one-month membership, you will receive a credit for the free month when it becomes available.)
These benefits will be provided after the Effective Date as defined in the Settlement Agreement. Your eligibility for the benefits is based on your membership status as of October 19, 2005. The full Settlement Agreement is available for review at www.netflixsettlement.com.
You have four options to respond to the proposed settlement. You have until December 28, 2005 to make your decision:
Option 1. Sign Up For The Benefit As Part Of The Settlement
To receive the benefit, you must complete the online registration process no later than February 17, 2006, at www.netflixsettlement.com. By signing up for the benefit, you waive your right to bring a separate lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims (as defined in the Settlement Agreement found at www.netflixsettlement.com).
Option 2. Do Nothing
If you do not wish to receive the benefit, do nothing. You will not receive the benefit but will remain a Class Member. You therefore waive your right to bring a separate lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims.
Option 3. Exclude Yourself From the Class
To exclude yourself from the class, you must mail a letter by December 28, 2005. By excluding yourself, you preserve your right to bring a lawsuit against Netflix concerning the Released Claims. However, you will not get the benefit described above.
Option 4. Make An Objection To The Settlement In Court
To object to the settlement, you must file legal papers in the San Francisco Superior Court by January 5, 2006.
To receive your benefit, you must register by February 17, 2006 as described above in Option 1. You will not receive any other reminders to register for the benefit. If you have registered for the benefit and your eligibility is confirmed, then you will be provided additional information by email following the Effective Date as defined in the Settlement Agreement.
After the benefit period ends, the new or upgraded level of service will continue automatically (following an email reminder) and you will be billed accordingly, unless you cancel or modify your subscription. You can cancel or modify your subscription at any time.
In addition, if the settlement is approved by the Court, Netflix will modify portions of its Terms of Use. Netflix also will refer to its Terms of Use in certain advertisements.
To get more information about the settlement and procedures, and to take options 1, 3 or 4, visit www.netflixsettlement.com.
current mood:  calm
current music: internal chuckling, since I'm in the library
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
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6:51 pm - Never gonna get to Heaven if you're scared of getting high ...
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Cori and I went to Sam's Club today and bought an unbelievable amount of delicious and unnecessary food. I ate two pieces of pita bread and hummus for dinner, and now I feel like I'm going to yak. Yuck.
On a more serious and crucial note, I saw President Hinckley at the University Devotional yesterday. He spoke at the Marriott Center, along with Robert D. Hales, Thomas S. Monson, Boyd K. Packer, Jeffrey R. Holland, James E. Faust, M. Russell Ballard, Richard G. Scott, and David A. Bednar. Not to mention Bonnie D. Parkin. The room was so full of power, I'm surprised a chariot of fire didn't swing down and pick them all up. Seriously, though, it was an amazing devotional. It made me realize something very important: I need to work harder to serve other people and build up the kingdom for the kingdom's sake, rather than for whatever's in it for me. I have so many things I want, but what I should want more than anything is to do the Lord's will.
Speaking of the will of God, I'm not gonna lie, I'm still frustrated about relationship stuff, but I'm trying to focus on more immediate concerns. After all, I've got a few good years left--more than I have years of college, to be sure.
That said, I tried on an engagement ring at Sam's Club today, too. It looked good.
And finally, I have been doing quite a bit of ancestry work lately, and I've found some cool names in my pedigree that I think seem like awesome kids' names. Observe:
( text )
current mood:  cheerful
current music: All I do is dream of you - Singin' in the Rain
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 18th, 2005
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1:15 pm - Go spread the new from Pole to Pole.
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I got my computer back yesterday, but it's downstairs where Captain Chronic Fatigue is taking a nap, so I'm using Bernie (Cori's name for her computer). I am happy to have Blanche (my computer) back, but it was very disappointing to go to the Apple Store and note a serious lack of the cute guy that helped me last night. Dangit. Oh, well, guess I'll just have to break my computer again. Ha ha. Just kidding. Kinda.
It's been a good Sunday so far. I went to Church, of course, and then came home and had a delicious lunch/dinner that shoudl hold me over for a long while. There were some good talks in sacrament today about faith, and a great lesson by Christine about personal testimony. I feel like I talk so much in Relief Society .. maybe because I do.
I came to an interesting realizatio nlast night. I was feeling kind of blue, as has been the trend lately, so I went to the temple and sat in front of it in my car and read scriptures for a while. That felt really good. I have decided to take Tanner's advice and not worry too much. Thanks for that, by the way, Tan. Love you. Nancy also made a really good distinction today. We were talking about feeling the consequences of our decisions, and she said, "I am not happy here, but I'm grateful to be here." That was such a startling revelation for me. It never occurred to me that misery and gratitude for that misery could possibly coexist. Not that I'm always miserable here, there are lots of things that I like about being here, but lately those have been precious few.
I get to take Sarah and Christian's engagement pictures this afternoon sometime. I'm pretty excited.
Oh, and I'm starting to think about grad school again. More, so very much more, on that later.
current mood: peaceful
current music: church music, of course
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 12th, 2005
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9:38 am - Tired.
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The speaking in a perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing but in love.
-Francis Bacon, essayist, philosopher, and statesman (1561-1626)
I'll write more later.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Pirates of Penzance Soundtrack in my head
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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10:44 pm - I'm sorry I called you a muzak-warbling wimp.
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I'm watching the 90s classic "The Little Rascals" with Nancy. I loved this movie as a child, and let's face it, like a fine wine, this movie only gets better with age. These little boys are so cute, I just want to eat them all up.
Fact: After working with my adorable Y Group this past week, I am really looking forward to having sons. I always thought that having daughters would be more fun, but the more I think about it, the more I think I don't really know how to be a girl anyway. Boys are pretty darn great, if you raise them right.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday, of course, which means I don't have class until 11. Although, I'm going to Cori's marriage preparation class with her tomorrow, just to see what it's like. I'm curious. I don't think I'd ever want to actually take the class, but Cori hasn't stopped raving about the professor, and I'm dying to know if he's popular because he's actually good (like Dr. Foster) or just because he has a cult following (like Bott).
Yesterday I went in for an exit interview for that editing job that I applied for and didn't get. I am ashamed that I was so upset about not being chosen. It really was an inappropriate reaction. He ended up giving the job to a grad student, which I most certainly am not. Professor Brugger basically said that I did very well on the test, but not well enough to work for them, yet. He encouraged me to reapply after I've taken 410 and 450. So I feel much better about that now.
Another reason why I feel good about that is because I got hired as a researcher for the Mormon Studies department. It sounds like it's going to be a pretty good job. The other two kids on the project are named Jennifer and Russ. I get to meet them next week. I hope they're cool. I didn't get a chance to make very many friends at EiZ, except Ben, and I don't have a lot of friends on campus, so that would be a nice bonus. Not to mention that the pay is pretty fantastic for a non-grad, non-computer position: 8.50 an hour. Hell yes.
I have a French test tomorrow, so I need to wake up at my usual time to study a bit. That's disappointing, since I was looking forward to sleeping in, but ... c'est la vie. Or however it's spelled.
current mood:  busy
current music: John Mayer - Why Georgia
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
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10:36 pm - When I think of maintenance, I think of keeping something working well.
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Well, Tuesdays and Thursdays are definitely going to be my "easy days." I had my last two classes today: Writing poetry and Family History. Poetry is going to be awesome, awesome, awesome. It's entirely based on form, he said "No free verse until you've earned it!" which initially seems a little scary, but I am really excited to learn how to write formalistic poetry. Our first assignment: a villanelle. I feel like that's a tender mercy, since I love villanelles so much, like it's a comfort or something. I'm thinking about it a lot, but it's pretty hard! I'll try and post it if it's not too humiliating. Once I write it. My professor is great: he wears black and has white hair, and he's incredibly blunt. I don't think I could ask for a better mentor for this class. The other people in the class seem OK, there are only four guys, but they are pretty attractive. Darn betcha.
Family History is not what I expected: my professor seems less like a Betty Crocker type and more like a Flannery O'Connor. The class itself is going to be really easy, but it will be a nice break from all my other classes, not to mention a much-needed Religion Elective credit. It's all Ancient Scriptures after this one. To make matters different, Richie is in my class. I haven't seen him in a while. He's a good kid. He really tries to do the right thing. One of the "major" assignments in keeping a journal with at least two entries a week. Done and done, which is probably hard for your gentle readers to believe, but I do a lot of private entries, it being a journal and all.
Speaking of which, i better write a private entry about a certain boy, like now.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: There's no music in my life.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, August 29th, 2005
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10:12 pm - No, it's actually around 26.
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Is anyone else offended by the Dairy Queen drink called the "Moolatte"? I mean how could they possibly not realize the terrible racial implications they're making by marketing a *light brown* coffee drink named after the derogatory term for someone who is part African-American? What the.
Anyway, today was the first day of school. The semester is only one day old, so I obviously haven't time to conduct an exhaustive study, but so far my classes seem pretty good, as a whole. To wit:
1. Empirical methods in English linguistics. This class seems like it's going to be pretty fun. We get to do lots of interesting projects, including some work with corpus linguistics! Not to mention that the two professors who are team-teaching the class are adorable. They remind me of Cori and me. They're best friends that did their Master's degrees and their PhDs together. One is a little more nerdy (Davies), and the other wears pink shirts (Eddington). They both speak Spanish. I like them a lot.
2. Semantics and pragmatics. This class seems like it's going to be pretty hard, especially since my entire grade is based on five tests and little else (I'm not the best test-taker), but it's going to be really, really interesting. My professor for this class (Manning) seems cool too, in a nerdy sort of way: he used a Star Wars analogy to explain one of the Semantic concepts in the lecture today. Ha!
3. French. I must say, the grad student (nay, the single grad student) who teaches my class is a very pretty boy. Not my type at all, and not worth sacrificing my personal integrity, but I sure like to look at him. The people in this class seem disappointingly uninteresting. compared to the cool and fascinating people in my Latin classes, but they at the very least will leave me alone, I guess. Lots of young girls, just as I expected. Can I just say though, that I am really looking forward to learning this language. Bonjour, madame. Enchantee.
4. Intro. to editing. My professor for this class has three decades of real-life experience--he even edited the 1985 hymnbook for the Church! I think this class will be OK, but a lot of work, dare I say ... busywork? Oh well. My editing skills could use some honing, I suppose.
Tomorrow I have my poetry class and Family History! Yay!
I want new running shoes.
current mood: sleepy
current music: Cori.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 27th, 2005
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6:31 pm - Huh. Thanks Kat.
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The Romantic Lover
68% partner focus, 52% aggressiveness, 50% adventurousness |
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:
You prefer your romance and love to be traditional rather than daring or out-of-the-ordinary, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.
This places you in the Lover Style of: The Romantic Lover.
The Romantic Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and is the hallmark of young love--the Romantic Lover often loves the idea of being in love, and being a wonderful lover, and so they try to bring their prospective partners every bit of joy or happiness that they can. They are the serenaders, and the ones to rent carriages in the park or take a gondola ride down a canal. The Romantic Lover is a treasure to find, though they sometimes are prone to being hurt if their advances are ignored or harshly rebuffed.
In terms of physical love, the Romantic Lover can seem shy, but usually it is simply a by-product of wanting to be perfect for their lover, and often needs some extra encouragement and re-assurance to truly feel at ease. Given a special, intimate evening, and the right lover, the Romantic Lover can be a delight in bed.
Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Classic Lover (most of all) or the Suave Lover, or the Exotic Lover.
Congratulations!
If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:
Nerds, Geeks & Dorks
Professional Wrestling
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender
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You scored higher than 82%
on partner focus
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You scored higher than 54%
on aggressiveness
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You scored higher than 50%
on adventurousness
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current mood:  bored
current music: TV.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 7th, 2005
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3:24 pm - Weird how accurate these can be .......
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| Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
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10:20 pm - My roommate is making out with her fiance on the same couch...
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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11:23 pm - This was all Cori's idea.
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So Cori and I discovered just the other day that she and I have dated the same number of people. Lucky 13.
( A comprehensive list, for those that are interested )
I was listening to a Mahler symphony at Borders today, and I got so emotional, I had to turn it off.
Soon, there will be a boy update.
I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach.
current mood:  drained
current music: TV.
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(comment on this)
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5:22 pm - I have been compared to Jon Stewart. My life is complete.
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the Wit
(65% dark, 13% spontaneous, 33% vulgar)
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your humor style:
CLEAN
| COMPLEX
| DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
Also, you probably loved the Office
. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/
.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais |
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender
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You scored higher than 81%
on dark
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You scored higher than 0%
on spontaneous
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You scored higher than 47%
on vulgar
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current mood: satisfied
current music: Schoolhouse Rock.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, July 18th, 2005
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12:13 am - I have never done this before, but ....
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Dude, I am such a girl it isn't even funny. I just asked a good friend of mine (my roommate's fiance, actually) to put out some feelers for me (in a smooth way, of course) because I have a crush on his roommate. Man, we'll see if that works out.
current mood:  curious
current music: Sarah's sweet voice.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
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8:06 pm - Remember this, always.
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2:44 pm - This kinda makes me feel dumb.
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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11:49 pm - Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee - God, to Jeremiah, chapter 1, verse 5
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I have been feeling sort of out of sorts the past few days, which I have been attributing to an impending visit from the postman. But really, that isn't everything. This month would be the month that I would be preparing and putting in my mission papers, if I were still going on a mission. Which I am not. But I feel as if I am going through a secondary mourning period, like the first time you really realize that someone you love who has died is really dead, which (in my experience) doesn't happen until a few months later. I think it also has a lot to do with nearly everyone in my life at this moment is involved in a serious, consuming romantic relationship, and I can't help but feel left out, as if I am being left behind. Like the fifth wheel that has to wait while the car goes further down the assembly line. That was a stupid analogy. Anyway, if I were going on a mission, that would be my own personal conveyor belt (sweet mercy, someone kill my for this analogy). It would be something that were truly Mine. And I don't have anything like that right now.
I have received a couple blessings in the past few weeks that have brought me comfort and made me realize on a much more significant level how much God cares for me, and is aware of my struggles, even the seemingly insignificant ones. The blessing I received a few weeks ago told me that Heavenly Father had something great in store for me, and that if I were good, that I had much to look forward to. The blessing I received on Sunday, even though it was just a generic setting apart for a calling, talked about my future role as a wife and mother. (Which, praise everything, was spoken of in the definite, immediate future, which means I really am going to get married in this life. Or die.) I have always felt that my most crucial calling in this life was to be a mother of an "illustrious eternal family" and if I could work my will I would get started on it sooner rather than later. However, His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts than my thoughts, and I have been certainly praying for patience, but it is almost harder for me to deal with other people's happiness than my own sorrow. Isn't that horrible? At times I feel a sort of grim self-satisfaction when I observe other people's relationships, because I feel, I know that mine will be different than theirs (and in my eyes, better, though many would take issue with that, I'm sure). I am starting to feel as though I really have progressed as far as I can on my own, and I could really use someone else to step in with me. However, since my orders are so tall and my tastes so unusual, even bizarre, that is much easier said than done.
I have been looking for the kind of person that most people my age and demographic look for, but for some reason I just can't find anyone that doesn't make me incalculably miserable. To quote one of my favorite movies, Singles, only adding my own little spin:
"I used to know exactly what I wanted in a man. He would be tall, handsome, with pretty eyes, but not so good looking that I felt threatened by him. He would have impeccable teeth, and a great body from all the running and rock-climbing we would surely do together. He would be a stalwart, loyal member of the Church, who wasn't afraid to share his testimony with others, and always had beautiful insights to share with others in Sunday School. We would study the scriptures together all the time, and I would learn so much from him, because of course he would be incredibly intelligent and well-read, more so than I am, but not by too much. He would like all of the same things I like: animals, Indian food, Ultimate Frisbee, running, the Simpsons, Star Trek, ice cream, rock climbing, politics, reading and music (the right kind of music, of course). He would be kind to the point of being a pushover, as I am. He would have much better control of finance, math, driving a stick shift and parallel parking, so he could teach me. He would love kids and want enough for a five-on-five Ultimate Frisbee tournament with subs, or at least enough for a baseball team. He would be nerdy in the sense that he would be smart and uninterested in what other people think, but not in the sense that he didn't have great manners and conversation skills. He would be really, really funny: funny enough to make me laugh all the time, when appropriate. He would be completely laid-back, never get stressed out about anything, never cry (just like me) and think that the way that most couples act when they start going out is totally ridiculous, and we would avoid such behavior like the Plague. He would smile and wave at every baby we saw in public. He would think Clinton was a bad man but a good president. He would follow the appointment of the new pope in the Catholic Church. He would go to every single ward activity throw at him, even the ones that don't sound like too much fun. He would think that all the things that make me stand out in this culture, including but not limited to my looks, my politics, my vegetarianism, my insanely wonderful family and the way I interact with others, are not only tolerable but amazing, something to be proud of. He would buy me a really cheap wedding ring, because it was really what I wanted. He would be willing to dress up as Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy for Halloween."
Right now, I think I'd settle for someone who would be willing to dress up at Kermit the Frog for Halloween.
I'm exhausted.
current mood: exhausted
current music: The Fan. Sweet Mercy, it's soooooo hot.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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12:37 pm - Sa-weet.
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| Your IQ Is 105 | 
Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Average |
current mood:  apathetic
current music: Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer
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utahraptor's journal
flirty
happy
ditzy